I’m trying this thing called a thong. I’m so used to lace covering my ass instead of being up it. REALLY not sure how I feel about this….

What’s the deal with me today?

My emotions today =

-Father buys his little girl a pack of m&ms because they’re pink for Valentine’s, and she likes pink. INSTANT TEARS

-Older man in his precious scarf with his cane buying roses: INSTANT TEARS

-Little boy hugs his grandmother and says: “I love you!” INSTANT TEARS

-FREAKING BOY BAND SONG ABOUT YOU’RE MY ONLY LOVE: INSTANT TEARS

-Video about a little girl with cancer getting a special Valentine from the staff that cares for her: INSTANT TEARS

-My teacher brings everyone Valentine candy: INSTANT TEARS

Conclusion = today I am insane.

Seriously, I never act like this. I don’t think it even has anything to do with Valentine’s Day other than it just happens to be Valentine’s Day. WHERE ARE THE TEARS COMING FROM????????

I wish the elephants that live above me would stop throwing furniture and bouncing their tonnage on my ceiling.

Me: Hey, can you vacuum this weekend?

Roommate: Yeah, if I’m here.

Me: Well, I’ve done it the past two times so I would appreciate it. I mean, you live here, so you should be here.

Roommate: Yeah, well I probably won’t be here. 

Me thinking: UHHHHH BITCH, YOU’RE HERE NOW. SO VACUUM NOW.

Me: Well, I’m doing the dishes right now, so you won’t have to and the least you could do is vacuum. 

Roommate: I only used 1 of those dishes. (THIS STATEMENT IS IRRELEVANT TO WHAT I SAID, STUPID.)

Me: We both live here; I’m just asking for a little help.

Me thinking: I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, YOU DISGUSTING FOOL. DO NOT INCUR MY WRATH.

SHUT-UP OR SLUT-UP

YOU CAN’T.